I Suck: Missed My Chance to Help
I was in the grocery store checkout line yesterday, all caught up in my own work deadlines and tasks on my to-do list.
I remember feeling mildly annoyed that the lady in front of me put her handful of items on the back of the conveyor belt so I couldn’t start loading all my stuff out of my basket. All she had were two loaves of bread, six small cans of tuna, a gallon of milk, a large tub of yogurt and two cartons of fruit drink. With the exception of the two Tropicana cartons, everything else she had was generic brand.
Replaying it in my head, I noted that the lady was having trouble with her credit/debit card. I didn’t pay much attention. Sometimes cards or readers get finicky.
I recall that the lady tried multiple times, and at least once the checker tried it as well. But I wasn’t paying much attention. I was now hauling all my necessities (milk, eggs, meat, lettuce and tomatoes, broccoli) and frivolities (a new blouse, a plastic bin to keep the catfood in) onto the conveyor belt.
It wasn’t until I looked up that I saw the lady was leaving, pushing her empty cart with her little boy toward the ATM.
Okay, I thought, she must have been using a credit card that didn’t work and would just get some cash from the ATM instead.
The checker called over a manager who closed out the lady’s purchase, and then the checker began to pack up the few small bags of the lady’s purchase into a separate basket. That’s when I noticed that on the shelf next to the cash register were a gallon of milk, a tub of generic yogurt and a carton of Tropicana fruit drink, removed from the lady’s final purchases. The remaining few items sat in the basket waiting for her to come back. But she never did.
My heart sank so deep, I can’t describe it, except to say that as I write this I ache all over again. My eyes frantically searched for the lady with the little boy in her empty basket. Toward the ATM. Toward the doors. All around the checkout stands. But I couldn’t find her anywhere.
My heart broke for that lady, trying to feed her family on two loaves of generic bread, a gallon of milk, some generic tuna and yogurt and two cartons of fruit drink for her baby…and I felt so awful that I had been too self-absorbed to notice her struggle. I could so easily have helped her out. I’m not well off, by any means, but I could have given her $20 that would have paid for everything in her cart and I would never have missed it.
As I finished checking out, I wanted to tell the cashier that I would pay for the lady’s groceries, but I was too late. The lady was gone.
If I had been paying more attention, had put the pieces together (a few basic foods, generic labels, card doesn’t work, items being removed and the card run again), I could have done something to make that lady’s day a tiny bit easier.
Instead, I walked out of that store with my basket full of stuff, tears in my eyes, furious with myself, wondering what that lady was going to do to feed her family. Wondering how I, and others like me, could help families like that…even if we can only give $20 to pay for a few generic basics.
What bothered me most was that the same thing could happen again and I’m not sure I’d notice soon enough to make a difference. I hope this incident has raised my awareness and that I will be nosier about what’s going on around me in the future. I am trying to program my brain to tune in better and to be prepared to ask sooner.
To the lady with the little boy: I am so sorry I failed to help you. To the Universe: If you will put me in the path of this lady and others like her, I promise to help them next time. And to everybody like me: Don’t be like me. Pay attention and be ready to step in when you get the chance.
And on this important anniversary, I want to say to all those who have helped others and to all those who have given their time…and their lives…in the service of this country…thank you from the bottom on my heart.
9/11/2010
